Bodies of Things:
As time goes on, I find myself wanting to look closer, to stay still, to simply observe things as they are. In this stillness, they seem beautiful, and even when they aren’t - they’re simple. I try to focus my gaze: droplets of water on a flower, a beautiful cloud in the sky, the sound of a bird on a tree, this is where the pain and the relief are felt. Read more
Some time ago I was at a Vipassana retreat, and the guide said, "It's like sitting in a swamp - slowly, the dirt settles, and the water becomes clear".
As time goes on, I find myself wanting to look closer, to stay still, to simply observe things as they are. In this stillness, they seem beautiful, and even when they aren’t - they’re simple. This way it becomes easier to believe in the clear water.
To hold onto some clarity, I try to focus my gaze: droplets of water on a flower, a beautiful cloud in the sky, the sound of a bird on a tree, this is where the pain is felt.
When I sat at the retreat, I didn’t feel that my swamp was linear. There were moments when everything was sharp and clear, but each step also stirred what had settled. Maybe the point is to think of it the other way around: even if most of the time the water is murky, there are still moments of perfect clarity. Maybe the point is not to be misled by the muck and to keep the gaze steady and close.
At the retreat, they also spoke about Adhitthana - determination and perseverance. The guide said, “It’s like being in the middle of the ocean, no longer remembering the land you left or why, and not yet seeing the land ahead. You need to summon determination to keep rowing”. So I imagine the color of the waves’ ripples, the glimmers on the water, the warmth of the sun on my skin, the fear and the relief. Maybe this way, it’s possible to believe that we’ll eventually reach something simple and good.